So I was examining some ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics when I stumbled upon this section of the Papyrus of Ani:

Upon closer inspection, we can clearly see the Duttle inscribed upon the page:

This begs the question: What was the Duttle doing in ancient Egypt? And in what way was he involved with the scribe Ani that he was written into his own “Book of the Dead”? It seems that every new revelation of the Duttle’s past, exploits, or nature invariably comes with ten times as many questions that need answering. I must continue researching further. If I can find enough references to the Duttle, perhaps I can begin to perceive some sort of pattern or purpose to the Duttle’s appearances.

John, what’s that in your eye?

Let’s take a closer look.

Wait, is that what I think it is?

It can’t be….

NO

In his latest visions, the Prophet Hussie reveals more evidence of the Duttle’s significance in the creation of the universe.

It seems that the Duttle had a part to play in the fall of Caesar.

I’M TERRIBLY SORRY BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING.

It is the Duttle, a combination of Charles Dutton and a Squiddle. You may read Andrew Hussie’s Homestuck to learn more about it. And to enjoy an excellent webcomic like no other, of course.

The President of the United States and the Duttle have been know to hang out, discuss politics, and laugh at Fox News together on occasion.

At this point in time, some of you may be wondering how exactly it is that the Duttle gets around the world, even the universe, so easily. Well, I believe I have found the answer to this mystery.

When traveling from place to place, a have noticed a peculiar green flash about the Duttle. I managed to capture the event on film, and it looks like this:

After more thoroughly examining the Word of the prophet, I have determined that a similar phenomenon occurs around beings associated with the Green Sun, the same Sun that augments Jade Harley’s powers over Space. However, according to Hussie, the Duttle was created long before the goddess had any connection to the Green Sun, so these powers could not have been gifted from her at its birth. Perhaps she granted the Duttle these particular powers at some point not yet seen by the prophet? Or are they a quirk of its existence in this new universe? This will require more research.

Also, you may now be wondering how exactly I follow the Duttle around on all of its adventures. The answer to that, my fellow colleagues, is that in the proximity of the Duttle, my vehicle also gains access to these Green Sun powers. I do not know if this is a natural occurrence when transport is near the Duttle, or if it is actively allowing this so that I may travel with it. Whatever the case, it is most convenient, as my ship doubles as my living quarters, so I can research the Duttle in comfort and with all of my tools conveniently on hand. One does enjoy the security of being in one’s home.

I wonder if the Duttle has anywhere in this universe that it would call its home?

- Aileran, July 25th, 2012

It seems that more than just the Founding Fathers were present at the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

Wait, could it be possible…?

Mother of God…

Little known fact: the Duttle was the inspiration for many of our modern day memes.

For instance, the Nyan-Duttle.

You don’t say, Duttle?

And, of course, Philosoduttle.

Here is the Duttle resting upon its preferred bedding: a pepperoni pizza.

It also seems to sleep with its eyes open. Truly the Duttle is the universe’s greatest enigma.

So I was flipping through an old history book, looking for information on the Duttle through the ages, when, lo and behold, I find this.

Right there! Behind those hills! It’s the Duttle, present at the moon landing! How did no one ever notice this?

This amazing find has inspired me to scour more pictures for possible glimpses of the Duttle. If this photo is anything to judge by, it is likely that the Duttle would be present during more famous historical events. I’ll be sure to post whatever other instances of the Duttle in history that I can find right here.

Today I joined the Duttle as it hunted for sustenance. I felt this would be an incredible opportunity to learn more about the diet of the Duttle, and brought along my camera to record the encounter. 

It appears that the Duttle will occasionally hunt with a team. On this excursion, it chose to join a pride of lions.

 The Duttle fits right in.

The Duttle and its adopted pride spent hours stalking a herd of wildebeast, waiting for the opportune moment to strike the weakest while it was at its most vulnerable.

 The Duttle’s ferocity in taking down this wildebeast is intimidating.

During the assault upon the poor wildebeast, the Duttle suprised me by growing to roughly 5 times its normal size! It appears that the Duttle has the power to alter its size at will. It is my speculation that this power may have been a boon granted by the goddess who created it, she with dominion over Space. Jade Harley is said to have been able to configure all matter into new spatial dimensions, and a creation of hers with such powers surely seems fitting.

 The Duttle drinks of the blood of its kill.

It has been only a single day with the Duttle, and already I have gathered new information and witnessed spectacular events that make up the routine of its existence. This project promises to be quite fulfilling.

- Aileran, July 23rd, 2012